Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Don't Be A Clown

Everybody’s a comic. Or at least they think they are. That’s how I feel when I’m in a group setting with people I don’t know. One-liners, wisecracks and silly puns are often the means of communication at conferences, small dinner gatherings and, sadly, when talking to people of a different cultures.

It was a Fourth of July gathering several years ago in Kenya, hosted by the American Embassy, that I heard this remarkable exchange. Bob, whose ministry was among the Asian community in Nairobi, was talking to a young lady from Bombay.

“Have you had one of these hot dogs yet, Shilpa?”

“I’m sorry, no, I haven’t” she replied politely, “I’m vegetarian.”

“We’re going to have to get you saved,” Bob retorted, “so you can enjoy meat.”

My jaw dropped in horror! I can’t think of anything more insulting than Bob’s insensitive remark to his Hindu friend. But if you ask Bob about his comment, who should have known better, he no doubt would have dismissed his ignorance by saying, “Oh, lighten up. I was just a joke.”

Americans are generally friendly outgoing people. I think they sometimes compensate for not knowing how to interact with people of different cultures by trying to be humorous. The fact is, joking is as culturally driven as eating or the clothes people wear. Being an American from the southern part of the U.S., I sometimes cringe when I encounter my fellow southerners who visit overseas. With their bubbly, gregarious, slap-on-the-back personalities they have no clue that “friendly” can be interpreted as insulting and even sexually suggestive. Consider this story from George working as a teacher in Thailand.

“A student handed me a letter and bowed politely. The writing was in Thai, which I had not yet learned to read. I looked up and jokingly asked if it were a love letter? The young man's face blushed visibly. As the translation ricocheted around, the class began to laugh. The letter invited me to a reception the class had planned in my honor. The young man did not make eye contact with me for weeks. Joking in class is a risky business.”

My advice to people when they enter a new culture is they act with dignity and respect. Be friendly without being silly. You’re not there to entertain people, so leave your jokes at home and don’t try to be a comic.

2 comments:

Joe Bumbulis said...

i stumbled across your blog trying to find more info on non-residential missionary practice. I'm really interested, and trying to collect sources. i am a seminary student interested in mission work and actually have a presentation over what a strategic coordinator/nonres. miss. is.

would you mind answering some questions for me,

1) objectively (the bets you can)- is there an objective answer to teh question, "what is a non-residential missionary"

2) how does you view or how do you tweak the common definition of non-residential missionary?

3) since this is relatively new, what changes has brought it about, what is the necessity of having non-res. missionaries?

4) is this "the way" to do cross cultural mission, or "a" way? why?

5) is this a model for western missions, ie America?

6) what resources do you recommend for intro and explaining what non-res. missionary means?

*please email me if you can at
joe_bumbulis@baylor.edu

i would love to get in contact with you. I know these questions have a lot to chew on, so if you can only get the first 3 or 4 done and maybe add something to number 6, that's fine.

RG Lewis said...

Joe,

Thanks for writing me. I will do the best to answer your questions.

Question #1

A NRM IS ONE WHO LIVES OUTSIDE THE AREA OF MINISTRY BUT IS ENGAGED IN THE MINISTRY BY MAKING OCCASSIONAL TRIPS TO TEACH OR INTERACT. A NRM IS A SPECIALIST BORN OUT OF MANY YEARS AS A RM. (READ MY BLOGS ON THIS SUBJECT)

Question #2

NOT SURE WHAT THE 'COMMON' DEFINITION IS, SO USE MY OWN.

Question #3

THE GROWTH AND EMERGENCE OF THE NATIONAL CHURCH. LESS NEED FOR PIONEER/STARTUP WESTERN MISSIONARIES. ALSO THE ECONMIC REALITY OF THE HIGH COST OF WESTERN PERSONNEL

Question #4

A WAY...BUT WILL EVENTUALLY EMERGE AS THE WAY.

Question #5

IT WILL MOVE THAT WAY, BUT THE AMERICAN CHURCH WILL RESIST THIS NEW MODEL.