The phrase, “Happy New Year,” is a wish rather than a statement of fact. New Year’s celebration is primarily a middle-upper class event as, for the poor, it’s just another day of labor working for their daily bread. The homeless in Delhi will huddle around makeshift fires as they watch the elite class drive to their parties; the farmer will go to his field knowing only that yesterday was Monday and, though the calendar page has changed, it’s really just Tuesday.
Those who mourn the death of Pakistan’s former Prime Minister, Benazir Bhutto, will have little to celebrate this night. Last week they could anticipate a happy new year with the hope of a victorious election, now, even if their party make political gains they have lost their leader, the one who they trusted would bring them into a brighter future.
I received a note from one of my former students in the state of Orissa this morning. She tells the story of the Christmas Eve attacks in her area where six churches were burned, two pastors killed and countless other Christians brutalized by Hindu fundamentalists. The new year for them will be the on-going struggle against persecution.
My beloved Kenya will begin their new year with demonstrations and avoiding the riots throughout the country because of a presidential election that many feel was rigged. My friends in the country write to ask for prayer as many of them live in volatile areas where often the innocent are caught in the crossfire. In times like these I think of the Kenyan proverb, “When elephants fight, the grass gets hurt,” and pray for the safety of the harmless.
Of course I look forward to a new year and even the events of New Year’s Day. Like millions of my countrymen I will watch the football games and enjoy being with family. It is a part of my culture to celebrate marking the end of the old and hoping for the new. For my family and me, ’07 was indeed a good year. We all have good health, have a roof over our heads and have no foreseeable reason not to look to ’08 with great expectation. I thank God for His blessings and protection over the past 365 days and pray that He will do it again for the days and months ahead.
To my faithful colleagues around the world, I am not glib when I say to you, Happy New Year. I’m praying and hoping that you will have a blessed new year as well. As servants of Christ, we indeed have hope that transcends circumstances. May He protect you and encourage you and may you know that you are not forgotten in your service for Him.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Is Good, Good Enough?
Yesterday reminded me what a difference a day makes. The day before, and the week leading up to it, had a subtle pressure about it. The countdown before Christmas is a bit like the controversial method of interrogation, “water-boarding.” There is a sense that the whole world is drowning, with shopping, fighting traffic and making plans for the big day, but the feeling of doom doesn’t quite happen, we just think it might. Of course some people do crack and thus take their own lives because of despair, but for the majority, people cope with Christmas. A few actually celebrate it.
Ahh, the 26th. What a relief the day after is. The pressure is off. The only thing we have to do now is wait around another week before we can begin life again. The seven days between Christmas and New Year’s is no-man’s-land. Schools are closed, businesses are on hold until after the 1st. The whole world moves forward slowly, but like the stock market, no real deals will be done until after next Tuesday.
In the run-up to Christmas the daily news was dominated with reports on retail sales. Though sales were good, we were told that economists were worried because stores were not reaching their goals. Instead of 4% sales growth expected, consumers were only spending 2.5% more than they did last year. The after Christmas sales are now being closely watched to see if bargain hunters will “save” the holiday season. No one is really losing money, they just aren’t making as much as expected.
In the world of capitalism, consumerism and competition, it’s no longer a matter of winning, but by what margin? Stocks value falls if a company doesn’t meet its quarterly expectations, though they turned a profit. Presidential candidates who come in third are thrilled, because they beat expectations. The world of sports is not the only game where success is measured by “the spread,” but has now become the standard in every aspect of life.
The “Good To Great” philosophy lends to this attitude that we are a failure if we don’t beat expectations.
“To go from good to great requires transcending the curse of competence [emphasis mine]. It requires the discipline to say, "Just because we are good at it- just because we're making money and generating growth - doesn’t necessarily mean we can become the best at it. The good-to-great companies understood that doing what you are good at will only make you good; focusing solely on what you can potentially do better than any other organization is the only path to greatness.”
I’m certainly not advocating mediocrity, but, like all things in life, there is a balance between achieving and being great. Odd that we live in a world where one can be considered a loser because they are good, but not good enough. The coach loses his job because he went 10 – 2, but didn’t win the division. The anorexic lives in torment because, in spite of all the weight loss, they are still fat and, the student bows his head because he graduated with honors, but not highest honors. Performance is not measured by how well you did, but how much better you could have been. Some give up early, because they know they will never be smart enough, pretty enough, wealthy enough or just be plain good enough. And those who do rise to greatness often suffer because, in their own mind, they didn’t meet their own expectations.
And how does God see all of this? The old gospel hymn, I am Satisfied, talks about being satisfied in Jesus. The closing refrain adds, “But the question comes to me, as I think of Calvary, is my Savior satisfied with me?” In the process of working out our own salvation we are to be diligent, disciplined and certainly to strive be the best we can be. But is good, good enough for God? Will I enter into the joy of my salvation in that last day, having been faithful over a few things and rewarded for being good, but condemned for not being great? Or, will I fall short of hearing “Well done, good and faithful servant,” because, though I served Him I didn’t beat expectations?
There is indeed a fine line between performance and expectations. We strive, for it is our reasonable duty. We remain confident, that in spite of our shortcomings, the Judge will measure us based, not on what we could have accomplished, but what we actually achieved. In the sight of God, perhaps good is good enough. If we have to beat the spread, we are all men most miserable.
Ahh, the 26th. What a relief the day after is. The pressure is off. The only thing we have to do now is wait around another week before we can begin life again. The seven days between Christmas and New Year’s is no-man’s-land. Schools are closed, businesses are on hold until after the 1st. The whole world moves forward slowly, but like the stock market, no real deals will be done until after next Tuesday.
In the run-up to Christmas the daily news was dominated with reports on retail sales. Though sales were good, we were told that economists were worried because stores were not reaching their goals. Instead of 4% sales growth expected, consumers were only spending 2.5% more than they did last year. The after Christmas sales are now being closely watched to see if bargain hunters will “save” the holiday season. No one is really losing money, they just aren’t making as much as expected.
In the world of capitalism, consumerism and competition, it’s no longer a matter of winning, but by what margin? Stocks value falls if a company doesn’t meet its quarterly expectations, though they turned a profit. Presidential candidates who come in third are thrilled, because they beat expectations. The world of sports is not the only game where success is measured by “the spread,” but has now become the standard in every aspect of life.
The “Good To Great” philosophy lends to this attitude that we are a failure if we don’t beat expectations.
“To go from good to great requires transcending the curse of competence [emphasis mine]. It requires the discipline to say, "Just because we are good at it- just because we're making money and generating growth - doesn’t necessarily mean we can become the best at it. The good-to-great companies understood that doing what you are good at will only make you good; focusing solely on what you can potentially do better than any other organization is the only path to greatness.”
I’m certainly not advocating mediocrity, but, like all things in life, there is a balance between achieving and being great. Odd that we live in a world where one can be considered a loser because they are good, but not good enough. The coach loses his job because he went 10 – 2, but didn’t win the division. The anorexic lives in torment because, in spite of all the weight loss, they are still fat and, the student bows his head because he graduated with honors, but not highest honors. Performance is not measured by how well you did, but how much better you could have been. Some give up early, because they know they will never be smart enough, pretty enough, wealthy enough or just be plain good enough. And those who do rise to greatness often suffer because, in their own mind, they didn’t meet their own expectations.
And how does God see all of this? The old gospel hymn, I am Satisfied, talks about being satisfied in Jesus. The closing refrain adds, “But the question comes to me, as I think of Calvary, is my Savior satisfied with me?” In the process of working out our own salvation we are to be diligent, disciplined and certainly to strive be the best we can be. But is good, good enough for God? Will I enter into the joy of my salvation in that last day, having been faithful over a few things and rewarded for being good, but condemned for not being great? Or, will I fall short of hearing “Well done, good and faithful servant,” because, though I served Him I didn’t beat expectations?
There is indeed a fine line between performance and expectations. We strive, for it is our reasonable duty. We remain confident, that in spite of our shortcomings, the Judge will measure us based, not on what we could have accomplished, but what we actually achieved. In the sight of God, perhaps good is good enough. If we have to beat the spread, we are all men most miserable.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Immanuel - God With Us
Written 700 years before Jesus was born, Isaiah the prophet wrote in the Old Testament, “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel” (Isaiah 7:14). The Gospel writer, Matthew interprets the name Immanuel as meaning, “God with us” (Matthew 1:23). What does that phrase mean, “God with us?” Does it mean literally that, as many Christians believe, that God became flesh and lived as a human? Or, does it mean that Jesus, the Christ, was sent by God to live among mankind? I grew up with the Christmas story. My earliest recollection as a kid in California was my mom reading the story of Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem where Jesus was born in a barn because there were no accommodations in a local inn. After 2,000 years the story is still being told, quite a record for such a humble beginning. As a missiologist and teacher in cross-cultural communication, I try to hear the Christmas story through the ears of others. What does Immanuel mean to Hindu’s, Buddhist or Muslims?
At a photo studio in Delhi I had a disagreement with the owner on some work he had done for me. Our discussion was not heated but I was firm in my position. The shopkeeper, seeing I wasn’t going to give in my position suddenly said, “Okay, you are my customer, you are my god.”
In a land where just about anything and everything is a god, I quickly told him that I certainly was not a god, but would be happy to tell him about THE God in heaven. He wasn’t interested and quickly changed the subject, but his comment gave me pause. How would this man respond to the story of Immanuel, God with us?
Fifty years ago D. A. Chowdhury, a Muslim background believer wrote that the phrase, “Son of God,” is a taboo term for Muslims:
“…That Jesus is the Son of God raises in the Moslem mind the picture of God as husband and Mary as wife. The title thus, a Moslem thinks, at once destroys the unity of the Godhead. It never raises in his mind a noble and sublime thought but it has unpleasant associations which are quite repugnant to him.”
In a recent Evangelical Mission Quarterly article Rick Brown adds,
“[Muslims] regard the term [Son of God] itself as an insult to God, and they fear that asserting it of Jesus or anyone else will bring upon them God’s wrath and eternity in hell, no matter what the term means.”
In light of this cultural and religious predisposition, is it possible that the Christmas story and the birth of Immanuel is more acceptable than the phrase, “Son of God”?
I read this morning a portion of Max Lucado’s book, 3:16, The Numbers of Hope, and the emphasis, in perhaps the most important verse in the Bible, is that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, and whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. Do we do injustice to Scripture if we translate the passage, as the Amplified Bible inserts, that Jesus is God’s unique Son, avoiding the taboo expression “Son of God”? The issue in communicating the Gospel to unbelievers, for me, is not theological, but rather overcoming cultural preconceived notions and false impressions.
This year, as I listen to the familiar story of wise men, shepherds and a baby wrapped in swaddling cloth, I remain awestruck of this tale as when I first heard it many years ago from my godly mother. I am grateful that I can comprehend the Christmas story without jumping over cultural obstacles. Our greatest challenge, as servants of the Prince of Peace, is telling others this great and wonderful narrative in a way others can understand the significance of His birth -- this one called Jesus. Immanuel. God with us.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Another Religious Holiday
The Christmas season in New Delhi is always interesting. Because the Christian community is a minority, less than one percent in a city of 12 million, it seems as though the senses of the meaning for the season is heightened for believers. In the states, though there are more overt signs of Christ’s birth, the meaning somehow seems to get lost with other activities. Shopping for gifts, preparing for the Christmas meal with family has a tendency to cast a shadow over the purpose of the day. However, when you are a religious minority, Jesus and the celebration of His incarnation takes on an acute meaning.A couple of weeks ago my wife and I attended a Christmas play at a local Catholic school. Not all students who attend these private schools are Christian. Some of those performing the dance or in the choir are Hindu’s. The Minister of Education, who is a Sikh, attended as a special guest. I wonder what he thought of the play? Did he even understand the message? Probably not. To those who are not familiar with the story of Christmas it’s just a day in which Christians celebrate the birth of our Great Guru and nothing else.
The following Sunday we went to church along with two Muslims. One is an Indian from Toronto, the other a student from the Ivory Coast. The Indian is more of a cultural Muslim who has relatives who are Christians. She actually likes Christmas -- the music, food and even being in church. The African said it was the first time he had ever been in a church. As a student in a foreign country and away from his culture that would frown on such activities, his introduction to the message of Christmas was new and no doubt confusing.
As I sat there listening to the sermon I couldn’t help but think how the message of God becoming man, born over 2,000 years ago, must sound incredibly farfetched to non-believers. How difficult it must be for them to comprehend the significance of Jesus’ birth. An incredible story told in a land where the story is just incredible.
For those who are followers of Christ, Christmas marks the beginning of the salvation story. Christ did not become man just to be a good teacher or set an example of how to live, but He came for a purpose…to die for the atonement of man’s sin. When Christians see the scenes of Christ born in Bethlehem, they also see Him crucified on a cross outside of Jerusalem.
On Christmas Day most of the world will have a holiday. A day, that once was exclusively a holiday for Christians, is now a global holiday celebrated with gifts and parties by Hindu’s, Buddhist’s and Atheist’s. While the majority in this great country will recognize December 25th at as merely a Christian religious holiday, for millions in the minority Christmas Day will mean much more.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Study Program
People visit other countries for different reasons. The main agenda for the holiday tourist is to see another culture, visit historical sites, shop and eat. I have never been attracted to site seeing, probably because I’ve seen enough sites that I’ve lost the curiosity of seeing just another country. If I were more of a history buff I am sure seeing the ancient ruins of Rome, visiting the Great Wall of China would be worth the time and money.Short-term mission trips are popular in the American church as it gives them an opportunity to be tourists with the additional benefit of doing ministry. The “vacation with a purpose” is a Christian marketing strategy that appeals to the best side of Americans, i.e. making them feel as though they are contributing to Kingdom while at the same time seeing being exposed to the rest of God’s world.
Overseas study projects are generally available just for kids in college. These exchange programs allow American kids to go to Europe, Asia, Latin America and Africa and study for a semester, get exposure to another culture and get college credit at the same time. The goal of these academic programs has one main focus -- to learn. Sure the kids also get to see the sites and sample the local cuisine, but the purpose is to grow intellectually in a foreign environment.
As I mentioned in my last post, I am making myself available to be an escort, of sorts, to interested parties who want to tag-along and learn cross-cultural studies within context. For those interested in such a program, here is what to expect.
1. I usually fly on Continental Airlines from Newark to Delhi, as COA is usually cheaper and it’s a direct flight to the capital. From Delhi we will then fly to the next destination where I teach.
2. On campus you will take the same course I am teaching to MA students; a three-hour module in cross-cultural studies. You will eat with the students, study with them and be housed on campus.
3. The costs will vary, but expect to pay between $2,500 to $3,000, which will include airline costs and accommodations while in the country. You will also need a tourist visa. If you can get your university or college to accept the course to apply to your credit hours, a syllabus can be sent to you for their evaluation.
4. The purpose of the trip is to learn within context, so this opportunity is not just for college students. Pastors, mission’s committee members and those who are thinking about serving cross-culturally as a career are encouraged to be a part of this program. The program is not exclusive to men but there must two or more women to make the trip together.
5. Like other overseas trips, participants will have an opportunity to shop and eat the local food. It will not be rugged conditions and it will be safe, but it will also not be a five star experience.
If you are interested in any of the trips planned (see dates of last post), please write and let me know of your interest and any other questions.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Take One - The Discipleship Principle
The other day a colleague told me that years ago a friend of his always encouraged him to take someone with him. Any time he traveled to do ministry, to teach or attend a seminar, he should always take a companion.On reflection I realized that I have intuitively been practicing the buddy system in my work for most of ministry. Whether it was working in the bush of Kenya or teaching in different parts of the world, I usually ask someone to go with me. Ten years ago I invited my brother, Bill, to go with me to Senegal. It changed his life and now he travels around the world more than I do working with missionary teams. (As I write this he is in Greece and the week before he was in Ukraine.) My first training session in India I took a group of 15 adults and the following two years I took over 20 people to Russia. I instituted a three-year training project in India in the late ‘90’s and I not only recruited a US church to help in the training but also a team from Russia, Romania and Tanzania. Recently I taught a three-day seminar in Punjab and asked a colleague of mine to tag along. What’s the importance of taking someone with you when doing ministry? Two reasons.
First, it’s Scriptural. Barnabas, the great encourager, was the person, who asked Paul to join him in Antioch. When no one in the first congregation in Jerusalem would touch Paul because of his reputation of persecuting the church, Barnabas took a chance on Paul because he believed in the transformation of his conversion. Believing Paul could indeed be used in Christ’s Great Commission, Barnabas encouraged Paul to join in him in the work. The church at Antioch subsequently sent Barnabas and Paul (notice it was Barnabas who led the team) to Asia. Paul followed that principle of taking one by recruiting, Silas, Timothy, Luke and many others. Barnabas, seeing the potential of a young man named James, took him to Cyprus after he and Paul separated.
Secondly, when one takes another person for cross-cultural work it provides the learner with hands-on experience that cannot duplicate in a classroom or by reading a book. Of course Jesus always took people with Him as He did ministry. He sent His disciples throughout Judea, two-by-two. Jesus understood that a person learns best when engaged in the work. Life is better caught than taught, when people are actively involved in the work.
Knowing the importance of this teaching tool, in 2008 I am actively opening the opportunity to take one (or two or ten) with me as I teach overseas. All of these trips will be between two and three weeks in length. The training will be done in India and Kenya. The subject will be training in how to serve cross-culturally (whether it is in church planting, youth ministries, social work, administration, the subject matter will be relevant in each context). I will give more details later, but here is the tentative schedule.
January 24 – February 14 – Chennai, India
April 4 –16 – Bangalore, India
August (dates yet to be determined) Kenya
September 19 – October – Hyderabad, India
I will give more details in the next post, but basically those going with me will be part of our training program, interacting with national pastors and workers. In two weeks you will learn more about missions than a lifetime of reading about the subject. It’s possible you can even earn college credit in the process.
Take one. Write to me and learn more.
Friday, December 07, 2007
The Challenge of Grace
One of the hallmarks of the Christian faith is “grace.” Grace seems to be a foreign concept to other religions and I believe the lack of grace can influence the behavior of culture.
One of the classic definitions of grace that I grew up with is, “Grace is the granting unmerited favor.” The recipient of grace does not earn favor, reward or benefit, it is given without warrant. I am gracious to my kids, not because they meet my standards of behavior, but because I love them as my children. Not all people who say they have love are gracious. I know some parents who are pretty hard nosed toward their kids and show little tolerance for their actions. They call it “tough love.” I know others who are more than gracious to their children, to the point of spoiling them and do not hold them accountable for anything. I know one dad who has grown children who have never had a job, live at home, watch TV all day and expect dad to provide them with everything. That’s not grace, that’s irresponsible parenthood. Grace is hard to define, but you know it when you see it.
One of the fascinating things about India is how little grace there is in the culture. Whether one is talking about business, driving on the road or simply standing in line to buy stamps, everything is push, shove and get out my way. I don’t have a car in Delhi and so I do a lot of walking. Walking is very much like driving in this city. You never yield to someone; you cut them off, step in front and pretend other people are not there. Seldom do you hear “excuse me” or “after you.” Sometimes in the market I feel as though I am in a rugby match in the middle of a scrub. Perhaps Delhi is just uniquely assertive, much like New York City, aggressive, rude and without grace. Delhiites will tell you that people in the south are much more gracious.
Certainly Americans are not always a gracious people, especially in the midst of Christmas shopping season. What is interesting in America, at least where I live, if a shopper tries to step in front of the check out desk someone will tell them to go back to the end of the line. Honking ones horn in the states is considered rude, whereas in India one can hardly drive without honking every thirty seconds.
Mr. J., my landlord who I dearly love, is personality without grace. Even though he is dying and whose next great event in life will be his temporal demise on this earth, he demonstrates no grace. The other day I went down to see him about our rental contract and there was a genuine dispute in our agreement. Even though the issue amounted to less than $100, he was adamant I owed him that amount which I clearly disagreed. I yielded to his demand because I wasn’t going to quibble about money to a dying man. On the one hand I want to be gracious, the other part of me doesn’t want to be considered a fool. I swallowed hard, gave way to his demand and wondered which part of the coin I was playing, fool or grace? If he was a younger man in good health I would’ve played hardball, but in the end I decided grace was far nobler than playing the game of who gets the better deal.
I walked away from Mr. J. sad. Not because I had been gouged, but because of a man I love who has lived his whole life without grace. Even his own family members avoid coming around him because of a life that has always been bitter, judgmental and intolerant. He will exit life as he has lived, without grace.
It’s impossible to talk about grace and not think of Jesus. The Scriptures say that, “Even though we are sinners, Christ died for us.” Salvation is not provided for those who are good, who deserve to go to heaven. The truth is no one is worthy of God’s love; it’s something He bestows on us in spite of our rebellion to Him. Is He a fool, a Cosmic sucker? Not at all. Even though He is a gracious God, He requires men to do one thing, believe in Him as the eternal God and accept His free grace. “By grace are you saved, through faith,” the Bible says. “Not of works, less any man should boast.” His part of the deal is to provide salvation freely; my part of the deal is to accept, embrace that grace He has extended to me.
We live in graceless world and to me that’s why we live in a world of hate, violence and greed. The pushing and shoving we engage in each day may be the way to get ahead in this world, but it's not the way to God's heart. There are a lot of things I need today, but my prayer is that God will grant me more grace; both on the receiving and giving end of things.
One of the classic definitions of grace that I grew up with is, “Grace is the granting unmerited favor.” The recipient of grace does not earn favor, reward or benefit, it is given without warrant. I am gracious to my kids, not because they meet my standards of behavior, but because I love them as my children. Not all people who say they have love are gracious. I know some parents who are pretty hard nosed toward their kids and show little tolerance for their actions. They call it “tough love.” I know others who are more than gracious to their children, to the point of spoiling them and do not hold them accountable for anything. I know one dad who has grown children who have never had a job, live at home, watch TV all day and expect dad to provide them with everything. That’s not grace, that’s irresponsible parenthood. Grace is hard to define, but you know it when you see it.
One of the fascinating things about India is how little grace there is in the culture. Whether one is talking about business, driving on the road or simply standing in line to buy stamps, everything is push, shove and get out my way. I don’t have a car in Delhi and so I do a lot of walking. Walking is very much like driving in this city. You never yield to someone; you cut them off, step in front and pretend other people are not there. Seldom do you hear “excuse me” or “after you.” Sometimes in the market I feel as though I am in a rugby match in the middle of a scrub. Perhaps Delhi is just uniquely assertive, much like New York City, aggressive, rude and without grace. Delhiites will tell you that people in the south are much more gracious.
Certainly Americans are not always a gracious people, especially in the midst of Christmas shopping season. What is interesting in America, at least where I live, if a shopper tries to step in front of the check out desk someone will tell them to go back to the end of the line. Honking ones horn in the states is considered rude, whereas in India one can hardly drive without honking every thirty seconds.
Mr. J., my landlord who I dearly love, is personality without grace. Even though he is dying and whose next great event in life will be his temporal demise on this earth, he demonstrates no grace. The other day I went down to see him about our rental contract and there was a genuine dispute in our agreement. Even though the issue amounted to less than $100, he was adamant I owed him that amount which I clearly disagreed. I yielded to his demand because I wasn’t going to quibble about money to a dying man. On the one hand I want to be gracious, the other part of me doesn’t want to be considered a fool. I swallowed hard, gave way to his demand and wondered which part of the coin I was playing, fool or grace? If he was a younger man in good health I would’ve played hardball, but in the end I decided grace was far nobler than playing the game of who gets the better deal.
I walked away from Mr. J. sad. Not because I had been gouged, but because of a man I love who has lived his whole life without grace. Even his own family members avoid coming around him because of a life that has always been bitter, judgmental and intolerant. He will exit life as he has lived, without grace.
It’s impossible to talk about grace and not think of Jesus. The Scriptures say that, “Even though we are sinners, Christ died for us.” Salvation is not provided for those who are good, who deserve to go to heaven. The truth is no one is worthy of God’s love; it’s something He bestows on us in spite of our rebellion to Him. Is He a fool, a Cosmic sucker? Not at all. Even though He is a gracious God, He requires men to do one thing, believe in Him as the eternal God and accept His free grace. “By grace are you saved, through faith,” the Bible says. “Not of works, less any man should boast.” His part of the deal is to provide salvation freely; my part of the deal is to accept, embrace that grace He has extended to me.
We live in graceless world and to me that’s why we live in a world of hate, violence and greed. The pushing and shoving we engage in each day may be the way to get ahead in this world, but it's not the way to God's heart. There are a lot of things I need today, but my prayer is that God will grant me more grace; both on the receiving and giving end of things.
