Lessons Not Learned

This past week I have been engaged in another type of service, taking care of my aged parents. My 87 year old dad, who has early stages of dementia, has been in the ICU of the VA hospital for the past five days and I have been spending a great deal of time shuttling my mom back and forth to the hospital as well as sleeping each night at their house. In-between moments of crisis I have been trying to prepare for a six-week training project in India and Kenya starting next Thursday. Its been and interesting few days.

The cubicle next to my dad’s room there was a young man, I’m guessing in his early 30’s, who is dying of lung cancer. As he lays there moaning, begging for more morphine, his wife tells me he won’t be going home. His family comes into the room to comfort him, but leave with tears in their eyes all too aware of the inevitable.

Yesterday I walked outside of the hospital and noticed this young man’s relatives outside as well. I heard one woman talking on her cell phone say, “Right now he’s fighting for every breath.” What took me back was they were all out there for a smoke!

Human behavior is amazing. No matter how much we are warned about the dangers of smoking, over-eating, alcohol abuse or any number of destructive habits we hold onto, we seem bent on self-destruction. Even seeing the agonizing end of a loved one does not motivate us to change our behavior.

My dad, who is now out of the hospital, was fastidious about his weight, quit smoking fifty years ago and has worked hard all his life. He didn’t always do things right in life, but he did learn some important lessons, lessons some people never learn.