Top Ten Comments To Missionaries

It’s time for the “TOP 10 LISTS.”   Whether it’s fashion, movies, songs, jokes, we get to fill in the last week of the year with the Top Ten Lists.

Here is a list of “hits” and “misses” – my top 10 mission statements and questions received over the years.  Maybe you can add to this list.

1. What do the people eat?  This question is often asked during and Q & A session at a mission conference.  My wife thinks that this is a barometer of a church’s missions intelligence.  After an hour of teaching about your ministry, if this is the only question they can come up with, they probably don’t know much about missions.
2. What do the people think of the Arkansas Razorbacks?  I actually had someone ask me this question and it remains one of the most stunning questions I have ever received.  I had to explain to the person that most Africans know nothing about American football, and certainly the Hogs have yet to become an international phenomenon (and no, they also have never heard of the Horns or the Crimson Tide).
3. What does your wife do?  I am assuming they mean what does she do in missions, but I find it an odd question.  Does anyone ever ask an engineer this question?  Next time you go to the dentist make sure you ask him what his wife does.  Will it make any difference whether he will work on your teeth?
4. How many people did you lead to Christ last year?  Let’s see, I have been in fulltime work almost 40 years now.  Pastored in the states; planted churches in Kenya; taught missionaries in over 40 countries.  I am assuming, accumulative, probably thousands of people came to Christ this past year through our ministry.  However, even those who I might have “led to Christ” this year, was certainly the result of someone else’s work, and most definitely the work of the Holy Spirit, so I guess the answer would be zero.
5. Are you involved in church planting?  (Actually last year this was framed in an assessment, not a question, i.e. “since you are no longer on the field planting churches we are dropping your support”).  It’s true, I could still be in Kenya, planting maybe one church each year.  OR, I could be teaching hundreds of church planters, reproducing myself in the lives of people who will go to places where I can’t go: reaching people I could never reach.  The answer is, yes, I am more involved in CP than ever.
6. Have you ever had a “real” job?  Do you mean those days when I worked on a loading dock, worked for a newspaper company or worked in a garage?  Sure, but for the last 40 years I’ve been sitting on my sanctified rear-end, sleeping late, going to church on Sunday and sponging off of others who have a “real” job to meet my physical needs. This has to be one of the most demeaning comments/questions anyone who is a career missionary will ever receive.
7. It must be difficult begging for money from other people. (Actual comment to my daughter serving in West Africa).  When you meet people who have that view of missionaries it certainly doesn’t make the task of raising support easier.  Makes one just want to give up and get a “real” job.
8. We can’t support you, but we will be praying for you. And what would that prayer sound like?  “Lord, we personally don’t have enough confidence in this person to invest in his ministry, but you are the God of miracles, so bless him nevertheless as you might know something we don’t.”
9.  If your parents didn’t want you, why didn’t they jut put you up for adoption?  Actual comment to one of our daughters when they heard they went to boarding school in Kenya.
10. Are the heathen really lost?  If they’re not, then the Lord’s command to go into all the world, baptize and teach those who believe must mean something else.  If they’re not lost then I guess I should quit goofing around and do something meaningful with my life.