My answer was simple; I have been and remain cynical. Not only of the ministries of others, but mine as well.
I have been in full time ministry 41 years, first as a pastor in Texas, then a pioneer church planter in Kenya and now, over the past 20 years, a teacher and consultant for cross-cultural workers in several countries. I’ve seen a lot – the good, the bad and the ugly.
But wait, church work, missions and Christian ministry are not any different from any other profession touched by man. Companies are rife with waste and mismanagement; business leaders, government workers and the secular workplace are not immune from sloppy or unethical practices. I would suggest that, all things being equal, there are more reasons to be cynical of those who work outside of ministry. Churches, pastors and missionaries are an easy target for criticism because, in the mind of some, ministry should be above reproach, no, indeed perfect. There is a bit of arrogance by some outside of ministry work that somehow they “earned” their money and those in ministry are on the dole from the hard labor of working people. Though they, like all of us in this world, depend on others for their job, contract or subsidy, those who are in ministry should be more accountable.
How does one keep from being cynical in doing God’s work? I thought about this last week when in Ukraine. It was cold, I was tired and wondered, again, what is this all about? Is the work I do pleasing to the Father, or am I just doing this to justify my existence in ministry? In the grand scheme of things I wonder what impact my little efforts are having in a world of secularism, polytheism and Muslim radicalism. Cynical that anything I, or anyone in this world does, I found myself cynical of God’s management in all of this.
And then I read Hebrews chapter 3. The children of Israel were cynical of God and the leading of their pastor, Moses. As a result of their cynicism they allowed their heart to become hard, turned away from Him who delivered them from slavery and followed other gods. As a result of their cynicism they did not enter in God’s rest. Chapter 3 is all about warning against cynicism and trusting God, in spite of the situation we find ourselves. Why or how God works is not for us to judge.
Hebrews 3 is a reminder that we are not to micro-manage God. The Israelites didn’t like the way God was leading so they turned to other gods for a more hands-on approach for their lives. I can quit tithing to my church because I don’t like the way they are using “my” money; I can discontinue doing my ministry as a missionary, quit making appeals for donors to support our efforts in world evangelism because I can’t see its impact in reaching the 3.6 billion who have never met a Christian. Or, I could change my strategy; doing ministry that appeals to the fashion of present day missions that is tailored for more bang for the buck; gaining the approval of others rather than keeping to the task I believe He is leading.
When the heart becomes hard due to cynicism one will never know God’s rest when the really tough trials of losing a child or grandchild in a tragic accident, or losing every material thing in an instant due to natural calamities. We don’t have, or will we ever have, all the answers. And, while I will continue to be cynical of motives and ministry, there is a balance of the heart that must be guarded. I won’t follow other gods because I think I am wiser than Him. Skeptics die in the desert, those who continue to follow Him will enter His rest even while they are in the desert.
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